closing the front door....one.last.time.

We went to our house one last time, Sunday night, to retrieve our fridge and a few leftover items.

We drove up to the SOLD sign
in the snow covered yard
and that's when it hit me....
this is it,
this is the last time you will ever set foot in this house
this house is no longer yours,
it is no longer your home.

I stepped inside
to a warm but empty house.
It was empty when we  left the first time
but I was taken back by how much this empty house
still felt like home.
This empty house felt more like home than the rented condo that houses all our stuff.

Afterall......
This is the first house I bought with my husband, were we lived for 5 1/2 years.
This is the house we poured our blood sweat and tears into as we tried to make it a reflection of  US.
This is the house we laughed, cried, fought and prayed in as we learned what it really takes to make a marriage work.
This is the house where we sat in the back yard by the fire talking for hours, where we took naps in the hammock that hung from our trees, where we pushed Makai in his bright blue swing.
This is the house where I planted my first garden.
This is the house where we brought home Griffey Cat....where we nursed him back to health, where we taught him to play fetch down the once carpeted hallway.
This is the house where we brought home Weston Dog....where we taught him to sit and roll over, where we played fetch for hours in the back yard.
This is the house where we enjoyed cookouts and back yard get togethers with all our friends and family.
This is the house where my husband worked hours on end in the dark blue ( i let him pick the color) office to make his dreams of being an architect come true.
This is the house where Nate fought for 5 1/2 years with our crazy crab grass lawn.
This is the house where we took baths for a whole month... in a cold, stripped to the studs bathroom because renovating it took a bit lot longer than we thought.
This is the house where I sat crying on that newly tiled bathroom floor after finally seeing a positive pregnancy test.
This is house where Daddy painted a mural in anticipation for his baby boy.
This is the house where we brought home our baby boy.....where I rocked my him to sleep on the old wood floors, where makai learned to walk, where he sat looking out the big picture window with his doggy waiting for Daddy to get home.....

This house WAS our HOME!

So it shouldn't have been a surprise
when I had a hard time
closing the front door....one. last. time.

this house was filled with memories
BUT it is important to remember
it is not what holds them.
all those memories
are held in my heart
and I will take them with me WHEREVER we go.